| another quiz |
[Mar. 9th, 2003|11:07 pm] |
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High |
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| death |
[Sep. 3rd, 2002|03:30 pm] |
i went to barnes and noble and bought yummy books. i've finally spent the last of my 100 $ gift card, and a little of my monies. i'm happy and sad. bittersweet. they didn't give my old card back. i'm sentimental, i wanted to keep it. *sigh* |
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| vegan |
[Apr. 27th, 2002|04:11 pm] |
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I read some things today that really upset me. I mean I saw pictures that made me want to cry. I'm going vegan. If there's anyone out there who can help me start please let me know. thank you. |
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| bye |
[Apr. 1st, 2002|10:04 pm] |
im grounded until im 18, thats 1 year 4 months and 1 day. email me at pinkren(takethisout)@excite.com. ill miss you. hopefully ill update here once in awhile |
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| long awaited (or not) update |
[Mar. 26th, 2002|06:23 pm] |
I'm alive and kicking. Doing way better than last year. Anyways the year started out very iffy. Now I'm fabulous. Actually my friend dropped out of school today so I want to kick her in the head but yeah. I can't do that otherwise nobody woulkd come near me :) I'm enjoying life very much and have been with my beautiul Nik for over 6 months now. That'd a record for me. I am doing cheer and applying for a job at various Sonic Burger places, Best Buy, and Bahama Bucks. Hopefully I'll get hired. I love you all, even if you've long-since forgotten about me *coughmellcough* |
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| uninspired |
[Aug. 24th, 2001|07:58 pm] |
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someone please come along and inspire me |
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| grounded |
[Aug. 2nd, 2001|01:53 pm] |
i tried to commit suicide on like the 15th and was sent to a hospital and then behavioral center. then i went on a trip. i came back and snuck out and am now grounded forever. i dunno when i'll be back cause my puter needs a new harddrive and my broi doesnt know i use his everyone so often. i miss you mell, heather, pa!ge, emily, rina, and everyone else. |
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| stupid week |
[Jul. 19th, 2001|07:50 pm] |
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saturday i spent the night with 4 gfs but since 3 were leaving me and my friend out we left to 'go to my house' and in fact went to go get drunk. yadda yadda drama...sunday night i went to a club. when i got home i stayed up and ODed on pills. i was rushed to ER got my stomache pumped and charcoal put in my stomache to soak up anything else from getting into my blood stream. i got out late that night and was escorted to a behavioral center for suicidal teens. um okay i'm not suicidal so wtf. anyways they sucked hardcore and were strict and i couldnt use tweezers, make up, or anything with laces like tennie shoes. okay these people think im that desperate. i dont fucking think so. anyways i got out this morning after having my staffing metting. i told them what they wanted to hear so i could get out because i have a trip coming up and i leave saturday morning. i'm going to a lake for a week and im bringing my friend too. anyways i'm pissed everyone knows whats up and i gotta call nick to tell him i did get home safe on saturday night. peace. |
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| stupid week |
[Jul. 19th, 2001|07:45 pm] |
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saturday i spent the night with 4 gfs but since 3 were leaving me and my friend out we left to 'go to my house' and in fact went to go get drunk. yadda yadda drama...sunday night i went to a club. when i got home i stayed up and ODed on pills. i was rushed to ER got my stomache pumped and charcoal put in my stomache to soak up anything else from getting into my blood stream. i got out late that night and was escorted to a behavioral center for suicidal teens. um okay i'm not suicidal so wtf. anyways they sucked hardcore and were strict and i couldnt use tweezers, make up, or anything with laces like tennie shoes. okay these people think im that desperate. i dont fucking think so. anyways i got out this morning after having my staffing metting. i told them what they wanted to hear so i could get out because i have a trip coming up and i leave saturday morning. i'm going to a lake for a week and im bringing my friend too. anyways i'm pissed everyone knows whats up and i gotta call nick to tell him i did get home safe on saturday night. peace. |
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| eh okay i give |
[Jul. 13th, 2001|12:00 pm] |
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okay my new url will be voluble.org so please, please visit there instead of iblur. the space 'expires' soon and i dont care to renew it. i may redirect iblur to a freeserver incase ppl dont see this :) but if iblur is 'missing' check out voluble.org thanks and see ya! |
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| oh shit bye guys |
[Jul. 13th, 2001|11:51 am] |
okay my puter crashed again. i dunno if im gonna fix it. i leave in less than a week for lake powell anyways. IBLUR IS CLOSING PLEASE LOOK HERE FOR WHERE IM GOING!!!!!
I REPEAT IBLUR IS CLOSING, I AM MOVING.
i already know where but i have to make it a suprise. ill be online whenever possible on my bro's computer sorry! *hugs hugs* |
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| long walk... |
[Jul. 13th, 2001|03:40 am] |
i talked to matt tonight online. its easier then talking on the phone somtimes because we aren't like good, good buddies. anyways i was like yeah im gonna go for a walk. i wasnt serioua but didn't show i was jk. so he's like well if you wanna walk a mile or so you can come meet me. so i did. it was 2 hours about from when i left to when i returned. it was calm. i picked citrus leaves and smelled them. oranges... |
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| dating |
[Jul. 11th, 2001|10:01 pm] |
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finally i was given my 'dating' talk and i'm not officially allowed to date one-on-one instead of in groupds. hip hip hooray for me! |
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| test |
[Jul. 11th, 2001|04:21 pm] |
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
test? |
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| something new |
[Jul. 11th, 2001|03:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gorillaz - clint eastwood (rawr) | ] |
today for some reason i felt like writing some things down. trying to get some stuff figured out. about my situations or myself. i feel as if i dont know myself eventhough i've tried so hard for so long. i dont know how to 'find' myself but hopefully it'll be soon. i went outside and laid out. when i came back in i showered and dried off turned on tv to watch passions and d/l music. i let my hair dry itself brushing it occasionally. i called someone and then when i hung up i put on some make up. eventhough i doubt i'll see anyone today i feel i should look decent just because. so i put on some clinique citystick and blend it in. then i put on some medium brown eyeliner a little below my lashes and a tiny bit above to bring out my eyes. then i put on some sheer white eye cream just so i have a little shimmer. then i put on lip smackers sponge-on sparkler in celestial strawberry. i then throw everything in my bag along with my deoderant and body spray and take a look at myself in the mirror. i feel like i look good. i didn't have anything special on, boxers and a loose fitting navy shirt and then my make up. but i feel like im pretty. i dont feel like that often. i feel like i'm looking at myself for the first time because i am very comfortable and satisfied. i'm so aware of what i look like no matter what but i'm never happy. i always feel like people are looking down on me and so actually feeling pretty today is such a wonderful feeling. i wanna take a picture and feel like this forever. i'm sitting in my spotless room felling totally clean with my dog resting by me and this means so much to me. i have a lot on my mind and to feel completely comfortable for just a moment to me is priceless. although this probably means nothing to most people that will read this but this is major for me. i never feel like this complete. i want to feel like this more often. i like it. i wish you felt how i feel right now.
2.55pm
7-11 |
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| dreaming |
[Jul. 10th, 2001|11:16 pm] |
well i got home from dance and he'd paged twice for directions to get to my house. i knew i had to tell him i couldnt go out but i didn't wanna sound retarded so i said i hadda go with my bro to finish painting my gramma's house because he's a week behind. thats true but i'm actually not going with him. so anyways i called him and as like i feel horrible and he's like you should i got all dressed up. so i invited him over for awhile. it took him awhile to get here but i found out he lives far away. we played 3 games of pool and watched some tv and talked. he gave me an amazing hand massage. so then he left a little before 11 so i could 'sleep' and we went outside and he gave me a few hugs and asked if he could call tomorrow. oh dreamy! oh and he even introduced himself to my bro and parents |
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| randomness |
[Jul. 10th, 2001|01:05 am] |
i watered you and gave you sunshine and hoped to help you grow. you started to and then i left for a bit and when i came back you'd already wilted up.
1. never put in more energy that you dont want back
2. never try to help
3. never talk to it and nourish it
4. never love it |
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| is this weird? |
[Jul. 9th, 2001|11:53 pm] |
ive been biting the inside of my cheek and i have the taste of blood in my mouth. nervous habit? |
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| yay! |
[Jul. 9th, 2001|02:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | let me blow ya mind | ] |
he paged me and i called him back. we're going out tomorrow! omg i'm sooo excited. yea the hot boi and me! woot. one problem. we're leaving at 9 and my curfew is at 10:30. any ideas why i could HAVE to be home that early. i dont wanna sound lik an idiot you know. and any ideas as what we could do? eep! |
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| um. |
[Jul. 9th, 2001|12:13 am] |
this could be shit |
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